Mag on Fathering, Mothering, Parenting..a child..

My mother sometimes says, a person would never UNDERSTAND the joy & pain of having & raising a child until (s)he has one of her/his own..... 

This she always say when one of us disobey her words, being rebellious & wanting things our own ways....and she would always say those words with teary eyes....

As of now, I haven't really FEEL her words as I haven't  got  a child of my own. 

But, there're some much younger girls out there who  already endure at least the 'pain' of having a child. 

But somehow, they refuse to experience the 'joy' of HAVING & RAISING one. Solution? Dump the baby some places with high probability of people finding 'it'. Wrap 'it' with a piece of cloth, with a note attached sometimes, or just dig a hole in isolated places & put the poor thing inside...

Cruel?? Inhumane??

I am not in the position of judging those girls' decisions. I guess it's an example of cause & effect event. Then, some unpleasant consequences. Labelling stigma etc....

So, yeah, people ask, what is happening??? 

The answer is in our hearts.

Away & Lonely Gawai

The title said everything, eh?

Yup, this year is my first time ever for getting 2 bonuses for Gawai. Being AWAY from family members during the greatest ritual/celebration for my ethnic. And feeling LONELY & quiet without the usual chaotic mess of last minute preparation for the ritual. Whoaaaa....! For some, it's no big deal. Like my army cuzzee say, no feeling oredi....coz he's been missing a few years of the celebration. But, there's always a first time for everything rite, so give me a chance to feel melancholy for a while....:( *sob*sob*

The very thing I missed most is cooking for my family.... I love cooking....kitchen is my favorite space in the house....and I am very agile in that compartment! Even my mum missed my presence in the kitchen...:( *sob*sob* again...

And I missed toasting on Gawai Eve with my 2 panglima (heroes) ..my older  & my youngest bro....and later on would be joined by a big entourage consists of my cuzzees n frens....a lively chat begins....music...songs...karaoke...and soon drifted to a nonsense & crappy talks...always ended with more than one of them snoring in the living room till early morning.... or sometimes my mum would stumble upon few other snoring souls on the kitchen floor...

A picture that some people could not relate to, but a normal yearly event at my parents' house. A scene I am missing at the moment...

Selamat Gawai Dayak to my beloved family :Bapak, Mamak, Abang, Phi, Ewin & Tatiq, Kit. I miss u all so much! Love u all! 

When I (and everyone else ) was 9 years younger...:) BTW, I remain the shortest!

 

  

Respect vs Fear

When we show our respect for other living things, they respond with respect for us. 

- Arapaho Proverb

 

The concept of respect/obedience/fear is something that never fail to fascinate me since it's a very cultural-bound element in our life. For most people, respect is something that is earned. 

It means different things for different people though. It's a concept that embodied ideas, thought, needs, wishes or even preferences. It can be felt. Our behaviors could also give signs whether we respect someone or otherwise. 

Most times, we might feel respected when our troops  (be it our students or kids) are obedient to our words. Or behave in a certain way that we approved of.

When I was a kid, obedience meant respect.  When we showed fear, that's respect as well.

However, within adult and professional circle, respect is redefined to suit the needs, be it among the colleagues or  between the bosses and their subordinates.

Still, there's visible line between respect and fear.

• Fear is toxic. Respect is nurturing.
• Fear destroys self-confidence. Respect builds it.
• Fear is life-threatening. Respect is life-enhancing.
• Fear is forced. Respect is mutual.
• Fear is learned. Respect is earned.

Now, being  respectful and obedience doesn't mean we have to be a door mat, because if that happened, we have no respect to the very important being, ourselves...

It's just something that cross my mind..

     

Life's A Gift: Caring or plain nosy??

Life's A Gift: Caring or plain nosy??

Caring or plain nosy??

It irritates right down to the deepest core of my nerve when people are just plain nosy or snoopy! And I guess most people do so. 

As I am now studying in other state, I have to rent a house with my friend. For the neighbourhood, we are different. At first, I thought they were just feeding their curiousity when they keep on observing our house (and the occupants!). The couple (and their kids too!) would try to go out as much as possible, pretending to do little cleaning outside their house or just simply, taking their 'rest' under a 'grand' stand outside, while their eyes keeps on looking to the direction of our house (I know coz I peep whenever they're outside!).But they NEVER EVER say a word to our face. Not even a greeting.

I thought they would get tired. But, recently, they gave a call to our landlord  (their long time friend) complaining that the surrounding of our house is untidy, unkempt and whatnot!! The complaint was so detail that the landlord called us  (from the neighbouring state, mind u) and asked us to get rid of the empty mineral water bottles near the entrance!! OMG!!

The landlord would also know if we have visitors in our house.... Psychic abilities???

 

Now, I am not really sure how to categorize this neighbour of us...are they just being nosy (& all bit of a gossiper!) or are they trying to care?? 

Anyhow, I would like to share some tips on how to dampen the spirit of your nosy, snoopy neighbour!

1.Be the stronger person. Don't fall for being nosy like them. Just get on with your business, nonchalantly and happily. If they have nothing better to do than watch you all day, then that is their waste of time, not yours.

2. Act as if you're doing nothing. That gives them less reason to watch.

3. Move your activities to your backyard. Or choose another spot where they can't see you.

4. Be elusive and disarming. If they go outside, go back in and come out in 5 minutes. Wave at them vigorously and say "hi, how are you?" Ask them if you can borrow a cup of sugar or their lawnmower, or WHATEVER. If you keep asking for things, they will probably start hiding from you. I am sure this will work!!

Just a thought!

Life's A Gift: Mag's Thought on Posting

Life's A Gift: Mag's Thought on Posting

Mag's Thought on Posting

Placement. Posting.

I believe it's the very music that plays in everyone's minds (in my batch) at the moment. It's a good thing because it means each of us in the batch are now capable of accepting the fact that we are a 'servant'. Almost all of my batch members are much much younger than me, and I thought they would take the challenge with open arms and open mind. But somehow, some are not really ready to be posted anywhere, except their own place. 

Yes, all of us would like to stay in our comfort zone, but my friends, believe me, even me as Sarawakian haven't got a chance to be in a boat for a 2 to 3 hours ride. Or to be in a 4WD for a longggg travel on a logging track. So, let us all keep an open mind and take it as a challenge.

Read this... 

Some of my friends from previous batches were posted to ulu area (P3), but are still able to communicate through FB! That's convincing enough and they become a living proof that life over there is not as bad as you might imagine.

Sarawak is a big state. It makes up 37.5%  of the land of Malaysia! The biggest hurdle is transportation due to rugged and mountainous terrain with three main natural regions - coastal, hill and mountain. So, for those of you who haven't got the chance to go there before, just dig some info from friends, relatives, media... Coz as people say, tak kenal maka tak cinta...:))

Well, I understand that some of my friends are reluctant to be placed in Sarawak upon completion of the training because they have some natural obligations towards their families, like caring for the old / sick members in the family. Or, it's hard for their husbands / wives to be transferred to the same place. Being apart from their loved ones for one year (for the training) is hard enough. I emphatized with them.  

Anyway, isn't it ironic that we talk about globalization but somehow we ourselves living in denial and refuse to be a global agent in our own land??

 

Borneo is not an enigma. It's a place to be explored. Sarawak is indeed a place like no others!  

Reflection...Reflection...

Congratsssz to my batch of June 2009 intake!!

After 3 months of "field work", now my batch is back to school.....yooohooo.....the first two days are filled with all sorts of catching up with frenz....sooo many things to be shared with and asked from all of them....their experience, their marks, their schools.... and of course commenting on their appearance....some get darker, some get slimmer, some ballooning (a sign of either extreme happiness or been living in stress...:)) 

In class, the lects been asking about the same thing....reflection on the "field training".... and I was wondering where to start. Trying to organize the reflection with the famous SWOT analysis....but ended up with the 'W' weighting too much....and nothing to write on the 'O'..LOLs....

Anyway, everyone seemed to be happy sharing with everyone in the batch....so, we can actually steal a few tricks, ideas from those who shared their experience, and bring them with us when we are posted later....thanks guys!

And speaking of posting, the practicum unit has not confirmed that our batch will be "placed" in rural areas....so, we all just pray for the best....:)) If rural area is the best, then let just make the best out of it!

Cheers!

Mixed Feeling

The practicum period has passed. A mixed feeling upon completing the course. Relieved as the stress level has gone down now. Emotional burden (or should I say distress??) is now absent. Curious because the supervisor did not disclose the final marks. Sad coz I had to say good bye to those pupils in the school.... 

But surely I left the school loaded with experience, both professionally and personally enhancing. I would like to see the whole experience in a positive angle. Nevertheless, the negative dots are still flickering in my mind. Some nauseating enough it makes me wanna puke!

Was trying to sink deeper into my heart and soul....and look for the real sign, that I was indeed born to be a teacher.....haven't found the exact spot though,  coz the walls are thick and the surrounding is dark.....

Anyway, I now have to concentrate on doing revision for the final exam... Sounds odd enough just by typing it..FINAL EXAM... it has been centuries since I last sit for exam dats to be marked and graded! Will try with all my might though..:) And yes, there would be moreeee exams to come.... what a life!

Mag is doing her Practicum..:)

Today, exactly a month has passed since I started my teaching practicum...Mostly, it has been a great experience..mixing around with the kids (sometimes, pretending to be one..:), engaging in the school's activities, getting to know new people, digging their earliest experience in teaching to comfort myself....*sigh* Teaching is great, preparing for it is a PAINFUL (!!) experience. But even dat is a new experience for me...hehe...Sometimes it turns to an exciting events (preparing worksheets, teaching aids...etc) 

The teaching sessions  are always a head-spinning moments since all pupils are trying to get full attention from their inexperienced teacher, so the classroom is always a battleground for me...with me as an unarmed soldier, pretending to bringing along a destructive bomb, when all I have is firecracker...:)) 

In the end, they do enjoy the sounds of  continuous deafening firecrackers though...:)) And I enjoy firing them...:))

One thing I learned and appreciate so much when dealing with the pupils is caring...showing that we care means a lot for them (in my case). Even when they are telling me stories in a language that I sometimes trying hard to comprehend, pretending that I understand...:( They juz need someone to listen anyway. When I couldn't get what they've been telling, I made up my own stories juz to distract their attention..hehehe....

And now, I am supposed to settle my debts-finishing the lesson plans and writing the journal....and I don't know where to start...

Of New Year, FUDs n V-Day

Wishing everyone out there a prosperous new lunar year 4708 with lots of blessings throughout the year and beyond...!

My friends and I are spending the holi at our place. No fire crackers, no fire works, no celebration....*sigh*... But there are foodssss......lotssssa foodsss... And i could feel my jeans are very tight this past few  days....:( I should eat less!!! 

Last semester I lost few KGs... and i fit into a size 26 jean!Thanks to my bike...  Yesterday, I didn't even dare to take the jean out from the wardrobe! It looked sooooo mini..... hohoho!!!

They say size doesn't matter, health does.....but I don't feel healthy at all....

 

My aging bike...:))

Anyway, have a great holidays folks!

And....it's also Valentine's Day.... a day when all couples declare (or in many cases, repeating their declaration of lurvveee...:)), by means of presenting gifts, flowers, chocolates...everything under the sun to prove their compassion towards one another... What a good life, huh..:) Most don't even know the history of V-day. Others condemn it as a-day-not-to-be-celebrated, saying it promotes immoral acts among the youths.....See it in whatever angle, it's comforting to know that we still have lots of LOVE to share in this world. 

Anyway, do we need such specific day to enable us declaring love towards the people that we love, adore or appreciate in life? In the modern world, maybe we need such special day(s)....because everyone is busy with watever nots, sometimes they forget to show how much they love everyone around them... We need reminders like Mother's Day, Father's Day, Best Friend's Day, Teacher's day, Birthdays... penned in our diary (now known as Blackberry..:)) just to make sure we don't forget to renew our declaration of love and affection to those matters in our life....

Have a romantic and loving V-day everyone...     

Going for practicum

Tomorrow wud be my first day for practicum...a little bit nervous and having lotssssss of anticipation. Don't really know wat to expact actually. Have never been in such situations..I mean a situation where I wud be surrounded by  kids... Hope everything turns out right... All tis while, my teaching experience and adult life is spent with mature adult learners, so I don't really know how to behave, or most importantly, how to TEACH the kids. Yes, my lecturers have all tried their best to provide armour for us...hehe...but, in-class theory is never the same with the real thing.